So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
