Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
