yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
