I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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