why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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