You're so nebulous sometimes
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
