WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize