i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
