**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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