when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize