Your tits are I can't wait for
i was born a porn star she said
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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