Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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