I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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