Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
