I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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