How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
