Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
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