I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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