Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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