Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
