her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize