Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
