What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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