if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
