If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
