Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
