....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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