So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
