I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
