my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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