I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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