he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
