I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This is my gift to your gina
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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