I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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