if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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