You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
