Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm always down for nudity.
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