dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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