So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
