fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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