4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
