try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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