I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize