ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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