The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
