A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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