I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
