As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize