dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
