i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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