I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
this hospital has no fireball
I need to sanitize my soul.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
