I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
