probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize