If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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