I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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